Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Currently {December 2015}

It's the last month of 2015 and I have all sorts of emotions about that. I haven't been around here much lately. I wanted to come with some good things to share--and I promise I have some good things in the works, it's just that life has completely taken over me. Some days I feel like I'm drowning.

I feel like my time is never valued the same way other people's is--if that makes any sense. When I was teaching I always felt like I was expected to volunteer for more things and to put more work in because I didn't have kids. At church I felt the same way, " You don't have kids, you're not as busy." And while that may very well have been true, I've always kept myself busy (I have a love/hate relationship with keeping myself busy) and so I've always felt the pressure when adding more to my plate. This week I had some church responsibilities come up and literally for such a small job I have, I felt like it was going to push me over the edge. I felt like I did not have a single second of more time. And yet a comment was made that was along the lines of, "You only have one kid, I have more. I'm bussier than you. You should take on more."

So this is all to say that I feel like this week is eating me alive. This semester is eating me alive. And I feel like the past few weeks have really helped me isolate and identify what I really want after this school year is over.

So let's catch you up with some more uplifting things that are going on around here and I promise to be back with some more worthwhile posts--including a new Winter recipe.


Wishing: That time would slow down and simultaneously speed up. There are so many things this month that we're looking forward to and I'm so excited to share them with JaiseAnn. At the same time, she's growing so fast. She's almost two (!!!) and I know that this is the only Christmas season I get with her where she's like this--next year will be a completely different experience and I just want to soak in all that I can with her right now. 

Remembering: SO many things. I am remembering last time this year and am just filled with immense gratitude. When I set a goal to have all of our Christmas shopping done by December 1st I wondered if we'd even be able to do any Christmas shopping. I wondered if I'd have work and what our holidays would be like. I was so incredibly stressed. I was stressed about sleep because I was so tired I felt like I was walking in a constant fog. I was stressed about all the decisions I had made as a mom. It was a sweet time, as it was JaiseAnn's first Christmas, but I was not myself and things were so stressful. JaiseAnn sleeps, and I have work--work that I love and work that pays well--and most importantly, work that allows me to be home during the day. I love it and I feel beyond blessed and grateful. I am also GETTING SLEEP! Some nights are better than others, but I am definitely a different person. I just feel so much better these days--about everything. Last year was amazing but hard--so hard on me in some ways. While I wouldn't categorize this year as easy, this has been an easier year--and for that I am beyond grateful. **With JaiseAnn being a January baby, the Christmas season will most likely always bring back those weeks just before her birth--but there's so much to say there it probably deserves it's own post. 

Wrapping: Wrapping Christmas presents is one of my all-time favorite things. I am ALL DONE with my shopping. (Okay I lied, I have one more thing I have to order today online and then I am done.) . I love wrapping gifts and that's one of the reasons I wanted to be done, I wanted to spend time enjoying the wrapping part of the season. Some day I want to wrap Christmas gifts for people for money--no joke. I would love that so much and I've thought about starting a little business doing that for years now. Some day I might bite the bullet. I am teaching the 8 and 9 year old girls at church how to wrap gifts today. I'm a little nervous because the paper we have for the activity is flimsy stuf and basically you can't wrap a present well without decent wrap, but we'll try I suppose.

Baking: I made these cookies last weekend, but they aren't Christmas-y. They're still so good though. I am not much of a baker, but I do want to work on baking with JaiseAnn more-I just don't want the treats around the house because I'm not there just yet. Zach has a book club at work every other week and I told him that I'm going to start baking with JaiseAnn to make stuff for him to send to book club. That way I get the experience of baking with my daughter without the lingering food. Zach was thrilled so it's a win win. (Zach if you're reading, stop now: I'm making these (or something like them) in a couple of weeks and labeling them Leia's Buns for the new Star Wars movie premier. He works with a bunch of nerdy guys so they'll appreciate it. It's my way of acknowledging my husband's over-the-top excitement about the movie--he literally counts down almost every day--without watching it with him.:)

Decorating: Our house decorations are pretty minimal (hey-there's a post coming up on that) but our Christmas decorations are out--with the exception of our Christmas tree. We're waiting a few more weekends (a time/scheduling issue, not a preference) for that. We can't wait to attempt to have JaiseAnn help us decorate and participate in our traditions with us this year.

Linking up with Jenna and Anne

What are you currently up to?

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