Monday, October 12, 2015

Being Proud of Your Spouse

A few Saturdays ago, I had class all day. I was really not in the best mood about it. While I'm beyond grateful for the opportunity I have to be in school right now, it doesn't mean I don't get sad when I have to spend a Saturday without my family. Our weekends are precious and I was feeling a little sad. Saturdays are also a big homework day for me--Zach watches JaiseAnn in the mornings so I can get homework done and then we spend the rest of the day together as a family. With a Saturday class, I knew I'd be behind on homework/work all week plus more work from the class I was going to. I didn't have a lunch or breakfast ready and I was running a little late. When I finally left the house, I was in a terrible mood and everyone inside knew it.

After I parked my car and started walking toward class, I checked my phone to see what time it was. I was late already and had a good 10 minute walk to class. I sighed and noticed a missed call from Zach with a voicemail. I quickly checked the voicemail, just to make sure everything was okay. The message went a little something like this, "Hey. You left a folder here and I'm not sure if you need it or not.  I'm assuming it's not for this class, but I just wanted to be sure that you didn't need it today. I also wanted to let you know that I'm really proud of you. I don't tell you that enough, but I am. And I really appreciate how hard you're working..." The message went on with some other kind words and I wiped away tears as I headed into the building.



I sent Zach a quick message and thanked him. But that message has been with me for weeks now. A little recognition meant the world to me, and softened my heart right away. Not to mention, it's made me feel good and even more motivated all week long. I had to ask myself, "When was the last time you told Zach you were proud of him?"

I don't think it was super long ago--he recently passed a certification test and we had a mini celebration at home and I told him I was proud.I realized, though, that I was proud because he had already accomplished something. What if Zach had waited to tell me he was proud of me until I was done with school? Or even the semester? So I've been reflecting on whether or not I let Zach know how proud I am of him--all the time, no matter what he's working on or doing at the moment. Whether he's in the process of something, doing the daily stuff, or accomplishing something.

I've decided to set a goal to work on this this month and I've got some ideas and tips in mind for this:

*Reflect on the Big and Little Things
I've found that when I take time to look at the big picture or when I take time to notice the little things, I find that I feel a ton of gratitude. There will be days that I'm just overwhelmed with gratitude for the way that Zach and I have worked on common goals together and I think I need to take those opportunities to let Zach know that I'm proud to be married to him. When I am reflective about the positive aspects of our relationship (and our life) I find that there's a lot to be proud of-and I need to share that more! 

*Share It
notes, in word, etc....
LET THEM KNOW! I don't think there's such a thing as "too often." I think it's important to communicate in a number of ways. Telling your spouse in person is important, but sometimes a little time spent putting it in writing--or adding those words to a simple little gift, make a difference.

*Make Others Aware of Accomplishments

Zach doesn't always communicate with his family on a regular basis--so I'm usually the only one who knows of his accomplishments. Whether he'll admit it or not, I know he appreciates recognition. I don't think I need to announce his big and little accomplishments on every social media outlet, but I can give his mom a head's up or let my family know when Zach has moments that should be shared. 

I'm linking up with A Prioritized Marriage for my marriage goal this month. 

Do you like to hear that your spouse is proud of you? What ways do you show your spouse that you're proud? 

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