Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Five Relationships I'm Working on for My Kid(s)

It's already become abundantly clear to me that JaiseAnn is watching me and soaking it all in. There are so many things I hope to teach her, but many of those things she will learn more from by watching me than listening to me. I am working diligently on five relationships in my life for my daughter's sake. 

setting a good example for your children


My Relationship with My Heavenly Father

What I Want: I want JaiseAnn to know that I know my Heavenly Father and that I know He loves me. I want her to know that I respect and honor him. I obey him. I make time for him. And I turn to him. 

How I'll Get There: I want JaiseAnn to see me making time for prayer and scripture study each and every day. I want her to hear Zach and I discuss praying about big decisions and offering (and then following through) with praying for those who need it. I will continue going to church each week, fulfilling my callings, paying tithing, attending the temple, and praying. I will also teach JaiseAnn to pray when she's sad, happy, scared, or sorry. 

My Relationship with My Husband

What I Want:I want JaiseAnn to know that marriage is SO worth it! I want her to know that it is fun and healthy. I want her to know that all aspects of marriage are important--including sex. I want her to know that her dad is my best friend and I hope she will seek out a best friend in a spouse as well. I want JaiseAnn to know that her dad and I love and respect each other and that we work together. 

How I'll Get There: We will continue making date night a priority. I will talk to Zach respectfully in his presence and outside of his presence. JaiseAnn will see us be affectionate--kissing and holding hands and we will talk with her about sex candidly and often. We will show her that marriage is worth it by continuing to cultivate a strong partnership that she will watch and see throughout her lifetime. 

My Relationship with Food

What I Want: I want JaiseAnn to know that food is awesome. It is delicious and fun and part of so many aspects of our day and lives. I also want her to know that she controls food, food doesn't control her. I will no longer say, "I can't keep brownies in the house because I will eat them all in one sitting." I want JaiseAnn to have control over food and have a healthy relationship with it. I don't want her to label food "good" or "bad" and I want her to know that her body knows best. 

How I'll Get There: I will share my enthusiasm for food in front of JaiseAnn from my deeply rooted love of chocoloate to my love of zuchinni. I will share excitement for fresh fruit from our garden and grilling on the grill. I will share my enthusiasm with her without shame and without prejudice. I will also share with JaiseAnn why I stop eating (I'm full. I don't like the feeling of being over full--this is something I'm just now learning for myself and I hope to share more later.) I will share with her that I eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm full. I listen to my body and food does not control me. She will watch. She will see if the brownies she made with me on Monday are still there on Tuesday morning. 


My Relationship with Myself

What I Want: I want JaiseAnn to know her mother is confident but humble. I want her to know that I have hard days but I also want her to know that I know I can get past them. I want her to see me take care of myself and do things that I enjoy. I want her to hear me say "Yes" to service, but I also want her to hear me say, "No!" I want her to hear me talk kindly about myself and to see me set goals and work at achieving them. 

How I'll Get There: First and foremost, I will practice positive self-talk! I will make sure that I am honoring myself when I make commitments. I will set goals and work through them. I will share my sadness or disappointment openly and honestly when I am having a hard time, but I will also share my plans to overcome it. 

My Relationship with Money

What I Want: I want JaiseAnn to know that money isn't everything, but it's important to use your money wisely. I want her to understand the value of hard work and the value of money. I want her to understand budgeting and the power that comes from budgeting. I want her to know there's freedom in life without debt. 

How I'll Get There: Zach and I will budget and talk openly about our budget. Things are always openly discussed and we hope to get to a point where we can talk about those things without anxiety or stress so that JaiseAnn doesn't equate money with stress. We will teach her to budget with the money she earns and help her understand the debt traps. We hope to use language like, "We aren't going to buy that because we want to use our money for _____." Instead of "We aren't going to buy that because we can't afford it or because it's too expensive."

What things do you hope to teach your child(ren)? How? 

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