Monday, May 18, 2015

Partners in Parenting

Zach and I generally adhere to pretty traditional gender roles in our home. We feel that it is what is best for our family. When JaiseAnn was born, I decided that our plans for me to stay home with her couldn't wait. It had to happen now. And Zach put in the extra hours of work to make it happen. I was still working from home, but only ten hours a week, while he put in about sixty. His main job was to pay the bills, my main job was to take care of JaiseAnn. 

Working from home has had it's moments. It's such a blessing, but it has brought its own set of stress and angst.  It's hard to find time to work with a baby like JaiseAnn who is a poor sleeper (though we're very slowly getting a bit better), furthermore, it's hard to work at all when she's awake because I'm doing this for a reason--to care for her and our home. Work falls during nap times and after bed time...which makes making room for Zach and myself a bit tricky most days. The worst part about working from home, though, has been the lack of stability at this point. Anything I've been able to find has either been contract or freelance work, which means I've worried about this little time in my life ending before it has really even begun. 


The stress was literally consuming me. Which is most likely why I have been so reluctant to share about my life on here in any personal way--and honestly I still am reluctant to post this. I found two jobs at the same time both are temporary but both will add skills to my resume that will hopefully help me find something more stable. Both are in the education field which allows me to at least look forward to opening up my computer when JaiseAnn goes to bed at night. One of them, though, required a week-long all expense paid training to Washington D.C.

During my phone interview I expressed that I would want to bring my daughter/husband with me on the trip as I am not yet ready to be away from JaiseAnn. The company was so supportive and while we had to cover the cost of airfare and food for Zach, we didn't have to cover the cost of a room--which was a huge blessing. Zach didn't bat an eye, when I asked him to fly out there with me and watch JaiseAnn while I literally attended training into the evenings. 

I was so nervous to leave her during the day, but she loved staying with her dad. They stopped by to visit a couple of times during my twelve hour days so I could play, talk with, and nurse JaiseAnn. It was honestly a little fun. JaiseAnn got sick while we were there and instead of making memories in D.C. with his daughter, Zach spent his days with a sick little girl sleeping on him. He did such a good job with her. 



There were roughly two hundred teachers at this training with me and I didn't get to know them all, but they saw my husband and daughter waiting for me between classes and they were constantly stopping me to check in on how she was doing and how I was holding up. And every single one of them said, "You're husband is awesome!" 

Yes, yes he is. Marriage after kids has been incredibly rough in a lot of ways. I plan to share more and more on that in the coming weeks and months, but I am so proud of my husband. I'm proud for people to know that I chose him and he chose me. I am proud of who he is as a provider for our family and who he is as a caretaker for our daughter. Finding time together has been hard. The stresses of adjusting to less money has been downright painful at times. But we are partners in parenting--whether we're taking care of JaiseAnn, our home, or our finances--we're partners. 

This opportunity was for me, undoubtedly. I needed to utilize my strengths and talents and I was so excited when this chance came my way, that I literally cried. But I also need to be home with my daughter in a way that I cannot even describe. I am grateful for a husband that supports me in both. This trip was another step in the right direction. Another opportunity that we hope and pray will open doors to more. 

In the meantime, we'll keep plugging along--working toward the same end goal. 

What goals are you working on with your spouse?

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