Monday, July 21, 2014

What I Thought I'd Know by Now

In about two months I will be thirty. I'm giving you (and me) some time to allow that to sink in...thirty. How can that be?!?! I just graduated from high school. I just graduated from college. I just met Zach. How can I go from 17 to 30 in what feels like the blink of an eye?

Not only am I almost thirty, but I am also a mom.

30 and a mom. 

 What used to almost sound "gross" to me now seems to fit. I will welcome thirty with pride and great anticipation. I welcome motherhood the same way.

Still, though, I'm almost a 30 Year Old Mom and there are just some things that I always imagined that once I had earned one of those titles I'd have figured out. Yet here I am and I still don't. I still very much don't have some of these things figured out:

Waking Up
 I don't know what I thought, but I guess I assumed at a certain age you started to wake up more easily. To this day, I need something to wake me up before 8 a.m. It used to be my alarm clock, now it's my daughter. Naturally waking up is not something I do, but isn't that what moms do? Don't moms wake up and make breakfast before everyone else? How will I get there, will I have to set an alarm? Will I still hit snooze?

Time Management
I still struggle with making time for some really important things like exercise. Some days the day is gone before I even got started. I struggle with balancing my home, my health, my family, my spiritual life, and my hobbies (like reading and blogging). I swear, I pictured all people that were 30 and moms as having routines and schedules that included cleaning house, running/gym time, cooking a homemade meal, playing with their kids, and date night every Saturday. (I blame those I babysat for growing up for this one). 

Budgeting/Paying Bills
All I have to say is thank goodness Zach is a patient and forgiving man. The amount of times I've had to come to him and say, "_____ bill needs to be paid and now it has a late fee because I forgot to pay it on time because_________ (insert excuse here--laziness, forgotten password, honestly forgot, didn't hit submit, etc..) The ridiculous thing is the money is there, I just forget to pay things. Zach is making the main income right now and so he just pays most of the bills. But late fees are for twenty-somethings and college kids. Late fees are not for grown ups with a mortgage and a family. Yet here I am, still asking to have late fees waived. 

Being on Time 
I'm late. Always. I try most of the time and other times I don't. I do not like being early and so I always push it to the last minute. In high school I got a Saturday school detention for "excessive tardiness." In one of my zero hour classes, my teacher went to mark a girl tardy and she honestly stated out loud, "I will not accept being marked tardy today until you give Sharlee a detention. She is late every single day." We are late to church every.single.Sunday for the past almost five years. I used to be habitually late to work. My boss just came to expect it and knew that I more than made up for the hours by staying late. I'm late to parties, get togethers, and more. When I was in college, I honestly kind of liked it about myself. I guess I felt like a little irresponsibility never hurt anyone and I had years to be on time. I guess the thing is, you have to make a habit of being on time and when you've been practicing tardiness for 2 decades, it's not going to magically change for me. Darn! 

Knowing Things
My mom knows things. I consider her my "Google." Any question, I ask my mom. She knows things about cleaning, gardening, and yard work. She knows how to get stains out of laundry and how to clean a crock pot fast and easy. She knows how 401Ks work (I still don't) and what refinancing a house means. She knows things about insurance policies, checking accounts, and so much more. I seriously call her with questions constantly. I always have. When does that happen? When do I get to know things? If I keep asking my mom, will I ever learn my own things?

Folding a Fitted Sheet
Trust me, I've tried. I tend to have a lazy side. Some things just aren't worth my effort. I may even post about the extremes that I've gone to with my lack of patience/laziness. Folding a fitted sheet has yet to happen in this house.

In this new stage in life I really want to either improve these things (minus the fitted sheet) or truly accept that I will never do so. I don't want to hit 40 and still be wondering why I don't know how to manage my time or why I continue to forget to make payments.

Expect a plan of action some kind before thirty hits to help me work on these, but first I need two things: 1. Advice, tips, tricks from any of you. Do you have some of these things figured out? How do you do it? 2. I need my daughter to sleep a little better and I need a bit more of an established routine. Give me a few months to come to terms with where we are and I will start working hard on a plan.

I guess this post could go right along with my post on insecurities.

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