Monday, June 30, 2014

What I Want for my Daughter

I have a daughter now. Sorry, I know you know that. I just like the way it sounds.

Daughter.

 As such, I've become one of those moms who pins things on Pinterest especially for girls. Things like "Ten things I want my daughter to know before she's ten." "Five things to say to your daughter before she leaves the house." And the list literally goes on...and on.

One common denominator that I find unncessary in most  (not all) of these types of posts is this need to encourage girls to be "anything they want." 

I am thirty years older than my daughter and I didn't need the "even though you're a girl" precursor in front of the encouragement "you can be anything you want."  

I grew up wanting to be whatever I wanted to be that day.  In my childhood I went from wanting to be an illustrator to a veteranarian. I kept the dream to care for animals alive until high school where I quickly changed to nurse and then to teacher.

My mind did not change because I was a woman. My mind changed because I either lacked talent (illustrator), stomach (nursing), or the patience to continue my education for an extended amount of time (vet). 

There was never anything I wanted to do that I quickly entertained and then chased away with "No, that's a man's job." Today it's even more clear...a woman can be whatever she wants to be. The message has long been sent and received. 

My beautiful daughter will have the world at her feet, just waiting for her. And boy will she know it. I don't worry about that one bit. 

I worry about this societal shift that pushes the world on us and downplays family. I worry about this "have your cake and eat it too" mentality for women. If a woman wants that, I have no problem with it. But what all her heart wants is to create and sustain a family. What if she wants to marry and have kids? What if she doesn't want to" use" her degree in the world's sense? What if she finds her role as a wife and mother more fulfilling than anything else possibly could?

What if my girl wants to be feminine and doesn't want to wear pants to church? Will she be told that she's not exercising her "rights?"  Will she be scoffed at for being "old fashioned?" 

 If she doesn't want to wear dresses and skirts to church or ever, fine. I will not have a problem if those are her choices. 

But I worry that the world no longer values family. The world no longer values the honorable roles of the wife and mother. The world no longer values femininity..softness, kindness, virtue. Those things have become lost to the world.  The message is still being sent, but it seems as though few are receiving it.

I don't see a need to tell my daughter she can be anything...she will know that. 


What I want is to show my daughter the beauty of home. Though I would never wish a bad day on her, I know that day will come. And I want her to find solace in our home. 

I want to show her the satisfaction in keeping a house orderly. I want to teach her how to clean, organize. 

I want her to witness the joy I find from running a home.I want her to see me enjoy making a meal and I want to see her watch her dad and I work together to clean it up.  I want her to see the pride when I prepare for company or simply enjoy the feeling of clean sheets. 

I want to teach my daughter the gospel and show her faith by example. I want her to desire her own testimony that she can  cling to when times are tough. 

I want her to desire the blessings of marriage.

I want her to feel the love only a mother knows. 
I want so much for my daughter.  But these are the things I want most. These are what will truly give her the world. 

3 comments:

  1. This really hit home for me. I honestly have seen this a lot in the past few years; a career woman is the norm now, and homemakers have to justify their choices. Whatever our children choose to do, I hope we can teach them to feel empowered and supported in their decisions.

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  2. This makes my heart just swell up with so much feeling. All babies are so precious and I'm sure if I had had a son instead of daughter I would still feel just as connected but the bond I share with my daughter is beyond words and I'm sure you can relate. I want so much for her but above all I want her to be happy, supported, loved. It scares me to know she'll feel pain and sadness at some time (as we all do) but I want her to know she can always find comfort in me. The other day she was napping in my arms and all I could think about was the day she would be wrapped in her husband's arms and then the day she'll have a baby wrapped in her own. It'll be here before I know it... I just hope I can be there every step of the way. Rambling comment, sorry. This just spoke to me so much.

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